Are you engaged and preparing to get married? Or, are you on the path to getting engaged and want to make sure your relationship is prepared for marriage? Or, is your relationship generally going pretty well but feel it could be tweaked a bit to feel even better?
Or perhaps you are noticing a change in your relationship. Maybe it feels like the connection is gone, you feel like you are more of a roommate with your partner, or you find yourselves fighting all of the time? You’re wondering if things will ever get better or back to the way they once were. You may be feeling scared, sad, angry, worried, or frustrated about what the future holds for your relationship.
Communication and connection are the “Big C’s” in relationships. Let’s strengthen what is working and make changes to what is not working. In our work together, I can help you feel prepared and confident to handle conflict, discuss hopes, dreams, and values, increase closeness, and better understand the underlying reasons behind any distress cycles in your relationship and what to do about this.
I work hard to stay on top of research on what makes relationships work. The skills that I teach the couples I work with are research based and have proven outcomes. I am able to help with relationship growth areas such as:
- managing conflict or being able to discuss conflict in a way that does not feel like it spirals out of control
- increasing connection so you are feeling more like romantic partners again
- understanding unmet needs and what’s happening “underneath the surface” for you both in your distress cycles
- discovering ways to bring the fun, friendship, laughter, and intimacy back into your relationship
- helping you both to talk and really hear one another to help you each feel understood and get your needs met within the relationship
- learning how to effectively communicate about ongoing problems, such as those that feel like they become the same argument over and over again
- learning how to talk about external stress (such as from family or work) so it doesn’t negatively impact your relationship
- rebuilding trust
- understanding how your attachment styles are interacting within your relationship
I like to think of a relationship like a house. Although each house is designed differently, the foundation must be sturdy. Depending on how your relationship is feeling, let’s set, reset, or strengthen the foundation. We will work together to remodel and design your ideal relationship house from the bottom up. I will collaborate with you to clarify your goals and break down barriers that prevent you from having the relationship you want. Whether it’s rebuilding a new house or just remodeling a section (or what I like to think of as a relationship tune-up), think of today as the first day of the rest of your relationship–I look forward to getting started with you!
I integrate evidence-based approaches in working with couples. Here, I can also teach you about what research has shown to effectively help relationships.
I am certified in Prepare-Enrich, which is an evidence-based pre-marital counseling program, focusing on preparing you for some of the most common issues couples face in marriage. This includes an optional relationship assessment and a workbook to guide the sessions. This program can be tailored to pre-marital counseling with or without a religious focus, it can focus on the uniqueness of blending families, and it can help with relationship tune-ups.
I also have training in Gottman Method Couples Counseling, Emotionally Focused Couples Counseling, and Internal Family Systems. I combine these research-based methods for a powerful experience in helping you to create the relationship of your dreams.
If you’re ready to do the work to take your relationship to the next level, then contact me to learn more about scheduling an appointment or 15-minute phone consultation.
*Presently all sessions are being conducted via telehealth video sessions.*
Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC 