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Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC

Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC

Psychotherapist | Speaker | Educator | Writer

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    Author: Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC

    Carolyn is a licensed psychotherapist located in Chicago. Her practice focuses on helping her clients with self discovery, self compassion, and self love while healing the relationship they have with oneself. This in turn helps her clients to experience meaningful relationships and a life that feels fulfilling.

    The Story We Tell Ourselves: How Perspective and Meaning Making Shape Emotional Experience

    “It’s not things that upset us, but our judgement about things.” ~ Epictetus What happens matters. Yet often, the meaning we assign to an event, or the… Read more “The Story We Tell Ourselves: How Perspective and Meaning Making Shape Emotional Experience”

    June 6, 2026June 6, 2026 by Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC

    Mindfulness Rituals for the New Year

    It’s December 31.  It can be common to think about how to celebrate the coming of the new year at midnight or creating new years resolutions to… Read more “Mindfulness Rituals for the New Year”

    December 31, 2018 by Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC

    Fights About Nothing, or So It Seems…

    Do you ever feel like you’re in a Seinfeld episode in your relationship?  It seems like you’re fighting about nothing?   According to relationship expert, Dr. John Gottman,… Read more “Fights About Nothing, or So It Seems…”

    August 7, 2018 by Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC

    Willpower in Achieving Your Dreams

    The new year has arrived!  People generally either tend to look at this as a fresh start or just another day.  However you view it, what goals… Read more “Willpower in Achieving Your Dreams”

    January 1, 2018 by Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC

    Attachment Styles and Relationships

    Do you find that you tend to attract the same kind of mate?  Lately, a comment I’ve been hearing from several of my single female clients is… Read more “Attachment Styles and Relationships”

    September 16, 2017 by Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC

    Paying for Therapy: To Use Insurance or to Not Use Insurance?

    Therapy can feel expensive as rates for psychotherapy can vary between $100-$300 per session.  For many, it is a relief that insurance tends to cover therapy sessions,… Read more “Paying for Therapy: To Use Insurance or to Not Use Insurance?”

    September 4, 2017 by Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC

    3 Tips for Women to Cope with the “I Need Space” Conversation

    You’re dating the man of your dreams.  Things are going wonderfully.  And then suddenly, it seems as though he’s backing off and becoming more distant.  You are… Read more “3 Tips for Women to Cope with the “I Need Space” Conversation”

    May 7, 2017September 5, 2021 by Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC

    How Couples Counseling Can Help

    When making the decision to see a trained couples counselor, there are many things this person can help you with: communication difficulties, a change in level of… Read more “How Couples Counseling Can Help”

    April 29, 2017September 5, 2021 by Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC

    Why Should I See a Therapist When I Can Talk to a Friend?

    You may be going through a challenging time.  Maybe your boss is giving you a hard time, your significant other is not listening to your concerns, or… Read more “Why Should I See a Therapist When I Can Talk to a Friend?”

    February 4, 2017September 5, 2021 by Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC

    The relationship we have with ourselves is the most important relationship we have…

    I once read a quote that said the most important relationship we have in our lives is with ourselves.  That really stood out to me as I… Read more “The relationship we have with ourselves is the most important relationship we have…”

    August 1, 2015September 5, 2021 by Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC

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    Sometimes the reactions we judge most harshly in ourselves make sense when viewed through the lens of the nervous system. Sometimes it’s not just what happened that shapes our experience—it’s the meaning we attach to what happened. Sometimes the relationship isn’t the only thing influencing the relationship. Understanding your attachment style - and your partner’s - can be a literal game changer in relationships. Perspective shifts don’t always happen because the situation changes. Sometimes they happen because you do. ❤️ Listening is often talked about as a communication skill, but it is also a relational experience. Many people are used to conversations where someone quickly gives advice, changes the subject, interrupts, reassures, problem solves, or prepares a response. And while those responses are often well intentioned, sometimes what a person needs first is to feel heard, emotionally understood, and genuinely present with. Change and accomplishment doesn’t start with motivation. It starts with one small, repeated choice that begins to shift what you believe is possible. Not everything that feels like “passion” is actually supportive. And not everything that feels “calm” is true emotional safety. Self-discovery isn’t about becoming someone new.

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